comedy
The other day I woke up at about 8am after falling asleep at 3:30am that same morning. As you can probably guess I was pretty tired but I had a meeting on campus at 8:30am so I had to rush to get to the meeting on time. After I got out of my five second rinse-off/wake-up shower I looked into the mirror and decided that I really needed to shave in order to not look so scruffy. I grabbed the shaving cream and put a nice big glob on my hand and was about to slather it all over my face when I looked in the mirror again. I realized that I also needed to do my hair since it was all over the place, so with a hand full of shaving cream I looked back over at the counter and looked for the hair mousse. Fortunately for me my tired brain told me that I already had hair mousse in my hand, all of that white foamy stuff in my hand was really hair mousse. It sounded good to me so I proceeded to slather the entire hand full of "mousse" into my hair. Three seconds later I realized it was actually shaving cream and not hair mousse.
I had to take another shower. Maybe I need more sleep.
I received this piece of chain mail the other day. I liked it so I thought I would post it, I did no research to find out if it is real or not so it may or may not be the actual work of Andy Rooney, either way it is a good read.
Andy Rooney on women over 30
- A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
- If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.
- A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
- Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve if, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think that can get away with it.
- Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
- A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
- Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.
- A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
- Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of resons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize,
Andy Rooney
Just five short years until my generation turns 30 and I can date a woman with the aforementioned qualities, and 20 years after that?I can start dating 22-year-old waitresses again ;)
